Archives.

Sunday, March 31, 2002

 
Well long day out at the house. Loads o fun. So I am tired at least. Went by D's parents house on the way home as per usual. Was amused to see she was there, and thought I should just drop in and say hi.. Hehehe Instant restraining order Ill bet if I did. oh well. so i came home and now gonna take a shower and goto bed early.
posted by Chuck Pierce 7:01 PM 0 comments

 
"Happy Easter"

Well, an other Easter came and gone. Doing lots of reflection and prepareing for my first sermon today. But first I am going to go and work out at the house for the day. laid some tile yesterday and today we are going to put up paper over the insulation in the basement.., Should be annoying but not hard.

Got a very confusing email from my brother, but least it is an email.
Been rereading my posts from the last year slowly and methodically. Seeing how my thoughts have modified and how my feelings have changed. But man I do post alot of drivel. A year ago my life was completly screwed up. I was basically homeless for a few days as the XGF and I went our seperate ways. Now I can honestly say my life is even more screwed up, though not for lack of me trying. Life is what you make of it I guess and I need to get more control over mine. Or at least go on a vacation. (18 days... WOOHOO) Ok well off and runing.
posted by Chuck Pierce 7:00 AM 0 comments

Saturday, March 30, 2002

 
Well CRAP. The queen mother died. Damn. She was a wonderfull lady. I guess there was a forth this time.. Oh man that sucks. Just got in the door and had a few interesting emails. on from my brother that I havnt even started to digest yet.. Was tomuch input at once. Anyways, long day but got to see lots of people I rarly see anymore. And Karne gave me a ripe Canalope.. Woohoo. Dinner time baby. Ok well i am lË?ve but tired more of the same tomarrow. But first I have to break down this email cause it is wierding me out.
posted by Chuck Pierce 7:41 PM 2 comments

 
Today is afer all a day of reflection. Easter is tomarrow and it was a Year ago that my life disintergrated in a matter of a few days. Kinda sucked in fact. So it is fitting that this year also sucks I guess. Oh well. Could be worse, i could be dead.
posted by Chuck Pierce 7:49 AM 0 comments

 
"I am angry at him, years of therapy and I can now say I am Angry at him"

That is of course from pretty woman...

Well it is way to early in the morning to be awake, so well, i am not. Just lieing in bed resenting the hell out of the way D has been treating me. Or well not treating me since she has of course just continued to ignore me. What did I do that cause her to hate me like this. The answer of course is nothing she is just insane, but it is hard to convince onesself that I could not have done something better.
posted by Chuck Pierce 5:28 AM 0 comments

Friday, March 29, 2002

 
Well a basically boreing day. Tomarrow I am going up to a hamfest and that should be fun for a bit.Then we start work on the house again after a 2 week downtime for drywall. Ok well, my life is boreing latly, but I am sure it will spice up as per usual.
posted by Chuck Pierce 11:03 PM 0 comments

 
Well gonna play drywaller today. went out to a nice lunch with the guys and now gonna play around here for a bit. woohoo.
posted by Chuck Pierce 1:01 PM 0 comments

 
"Every single person out there is an idiot, but together they are a genius" Billy Wilder

Yea the 3rd one died.. wierd how it goes in three's. Up and alive at least partly. Life is allmost getting normal, about time the Chaos god laid an other blessing of chaos on me. Why does that scare me so much...
posted by Chuck Pierce 6:22 AM 1 comment

Thursday, March 28, 2002

 
Well it is 3 weeks from today when we go on our trip.. So trying to get organised.. Got a camera, or a friend did I am gonna borrow.. so here are some quick snaps.....temp pics

posted by Chuck Pierce 8:44 PM 1 comment

 
Well now the digital cable is Fubared so I am not watching anything.Growl.. i really need to do a redo of t?e web page, but I just havnt felt like it yet. But I am percolating on the idea so don't be suprised if i finally do it.
posted by Chuck Pierce 6:12 PM 0 comments

 
Well i am a happy camper. i just found BBC America on Digital cable..WOOHOO. Very nice. Lots of great stuff to watch if I ever have time to watch it.
posted by Chuck Pierce 1:57 PM 0 comments

 
"Dead people allways happen in three's"

Lost Milton Berle and Dudly Moore yesterday, Who will go today?
I slept like crap for no real reason, dreamt of Bee's all night. No CLUE why but it was wierd. Ok off to start the day...
posted by Chuck Pierce 6:18 AM 5 comments

Wednesday, March 27, 2002

 
Well i did it. i really did not think I could do anything overly stupid for a while cause I figured I had met my quota for this year, but wait, there is allways more. Yes I screwed up in an really amuseing way.

Well After years withthe XGf my credit sucked. And no it is not all her fault, but the end result is it sucked. SO... I have been cleaning it up. And doing a good job too I might add. I have a few credit cards and i pay them off every month and all is well. Except this month. Yes I pulled a great Wahoonie. I guess I paid off all my bills on Friday. Great.. Them it looks like on Monday i payed em all off again before it had updated. Opps.
So well, I am broke. Like 20 bucks in the bank, opps.. But the good news is I have like 1200$ in credit on all my cards.. NICE. So i guess I am not spending cash for anything this month. HAHAHAHHAHA What an idiot I am..
posted by Chuck Pierce 2:14 PM 2 comments

 
WOW the paperwork for this trip is incrediable. We have vouchers, tickets, and like all kinds of crap i am supposed to carry with us and I assume not lose. Lots here to read though....
posted by Chuck Pierce 12:08 PM 0 comments

 
I really am frigging doomed to allways be the bad guy. For christs sake people can annoy the hell out of me. EVERYTIME I am nice and think PLAN! this would be a nice thing to do, I ALLWAYS get burnt. This time I am pissed off about my brother who somehow misunderstood what I was tryng to do when I offered to give him something and got mad at me for it. Oh well Life will go on. "Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us"

Other news.. Finnally got the tickets and info and all that for the trip me and Mopm are takeing. .Should be a BLAST. Damn well better be I might have to eat rice untill then I went over budget so much. But I am getting excited already and so is she. I will post more about the itin, but frankly havnt even read it yet....
posted by Chuck Pierce 11:35 AM 0 comments

 
"Oh to be in Paris in the spring"

More snow. Yuck. Or non yuck.. havnt decided yet.
posted by Chuck Pierce 6:24 AM 0 comments

Tuesday, March 26, 2002

 
Ok well 1/2 the day gone. Got a few small things done but nothing substantial. I am holding off on the Lawyer for a week or so.. Why you ask? well cause I am fairly sure they are going to want some $. And I don't have any. Paid all my bills and not alot left right now. So when i get a check in next then Ill go pick and choose.. I have been doing some research though.. Other than that, not alot going on. Poof.
posted by Chuck Pierce 11:24 AM 1 comment

 
"Divinity is a hard thing to define. It is easier when you just declare yourself divine."

Ok well I was amused at my poetry before 6 am. Today MIGHT be a redo of the web page day. we shall see...
posted by Chuck Pierce 5:59 AM 1 comment

Monday, March 25, 2002

 
Well. I am sluging it tonite. Grabed a Pratchet book i have oonly read 50 times and gonna lie in bed and read and recharge. I miss my library. I really gotot get my books outof storage. Anyways, boreing day...
posted by Chuck Pierce 6:02 PM 0 comments

 
Had some great dreams last night about motercycles and rideing and stff like taht. was cool. I guess I might get to keep my bike now, since hell i am not gonna be married to her, and if I fall and die should would prob be happy anyways. Grunt. Ok off to give XFR a ride back from the car place. he is droping his off to get the brakes touched up.
posted by Chuck Pierce 3:05 PM 0 comments

 
Hmm lost the morning post.. thats wierd.. i did post honest...
posted by Chuck Pierce 11:15 AM 0 comments

Sunday, March 24, 2002

 
What a day. Spent the morn doing comp stuff, had a big meal and took a nap at about 1:30 for an hour or so. Had a long dream about D's parents and how they knew nothing about how she was treating me. Needless to say it was just a dream Though I have to wonder what lies she is telling them. It can't be the truth cause I havnt done anything. Very strange. Sigh. Well I have given up. I am going to go start picking out lawyers on Monday. HEY if I set up a ChuckPierce legal fund on paypal will any of you dontate??? heheh yea bout what I thought.
posted by Chuck Pierce 3:17 PM 1 comment

 
Well kinda disapointed that my Bro didn't call. I was pretty sure he would want that gun. Oh well maybe he is to busy or didnt read the blog that week. I got to clean out some of my crap here. Hasnt happened yet though. As soon as I get some organised I get more crap piled up. Unreal. The hard things are stupid like where do i keep towels. I have a large closet and no clothes in it.. just boxes. hehe. Oh well.
posted by Chuck Pierce 11:44 AM 0 comments

 
"We are spending 6000$ and we want a clean box... NOW KID"

I was abnoxious btw in the apple store yesterday. For the amount of cash we spent a dirty box was unacceptibel
. God I am still alseep. grunt..
posted by Chuck Pierce 8:19 AM 0 comments

Saturday, March 23, 2002

 
Long ass day. Just got in. Actually drove to mass, again. Went down and bought John a g4 duel 1 gig but he got the 22 inch lcd.. Wouldnt fit in his car so we took mine. i am wiped though, time to crash
posted by Chuck Pierce 11:45 PM 0 comments

 
Well time to go home. Aint that just grand. Another long 24hrs gone.
Time to pack up Guido and head for The new house and help out fo rthe day.
posted by Chuck Pierce 11:42 AM 0 comments

 
Ok well. Deep moment.
When I started this journal from hell the idea was to help me express my emotions and grow and learn from them or some such pap I made up on the side of the road. Well it has been almost a year since my life became seriously unglued. And I would like to say I have mended it and applied the old hot glue of learning onto it, but I havenâ??t. In fact, if anything it has gotten worse. Impressive huh. If you had asked me a year ago what the hell else could go wrong, I would have been stumped.. But now I have an all-new understanding on the frality of life and the glassine nature of change. Wow I think I just invented a word to.. But anyways, some things are good. I appreciate the XGF a lot more now than I ever did. I understand the problems I had in committing to her and the reasons behind it. (Mostly her devil spawn daughter I am afraid). I had found new old love and tossed myself into it with abandon. Only to get whacked on the head with the 2*4 of her own mental lack of state. I have strengthened the bond with 2 of my siblings slightly, and completely cast away the other 2. For good reasons I am sure, but is any reason really good enough? I took the final step in bachelorhood and asked someone to marry me. She said yes, it lasted 63 days of which she didnâ??t speak to me for 30. I have fathered a child (er almost) and not been able to convince the mother that it was a good thing no matter how hard I tried. I have added a whole new layer of understanding and respect with my Mother, and that is a good thing to have. I have added new friends, lost track of old ones, and became a little less insular. I have followed a few dreams and for once I have the best play toy, at least for a few months. And now as the year draws to a close I get set to reorganize my life from top to bottom in preparation for my first child. Currently I will be lucky if I ever even see pictures of the guy, and hell she could name him Francis or Jock or something. But now I am beginning to get over the hurt and feeling of abandonment and going headlong into the future. He is 1/2 my child. If she wants to use him as a pawn to get back at the world or me or something fine. But he is MY child to and I WILL see him and I WILL be a part of his life unless she is successful in making the court think I am a bad person. Soo with the year winding down yet again in a crappy way, I am going to attempt to put aside my petty feelings (They really don't matter anyways) Going to try to not use anger as a tool. And I am going to concentrate on my child and what is best for him. Sucks to be her if she does not like it.
posted by Chuck Pierce 9:01 AM 2 comments

 
"Hey you made it to 50 and thats more than I will prob do"

Happy Day Doc.. Hmm wait I am a Doc now too damn it. Why doesnt anyone ever call me Doc?

Did I mention I also got a Doctor of Divinity?

Well I did. so easyly amused it is scary.
posted by Chuck Pierce 8:08 AM 1 comment

Friday, March 22, 2002

 
Well played on Clanlord for a few hrs. Now I am bored again.. Oh and weak too.
posted by Chuck Pierce 10:11 PM 1 comment

 
Well here is a suprise, i am bored at work. Talked to my great friend C from the Uk. had to try and explain the last few months in simple words.. Didnt work well. I swar I am gonna write down all the trials and tribulations from the last year. I mean really, this has sucked. Calgon take me away. Ok so off we go to never never land. Gonna watch a DVD I think. Been playing tropico all afternoon. buggy but amuseing. Bit easy to master but then I am good at them things. Ok well off and sleeping.
posted by Chuck Pierce 7:56 PM 0 comments

 
8,619 blocks were completed yesterday (0.00001254% of the keyspace)
at a sustained rate of 26,778 KKeys/sec! Ranked 1,823 for the day.
Yesterday is this participant's best day ever!

Woohoo I went up 3000 places yesterday. cool beans.
posted by Chuck Pierce 1:45 PM 0 comments

 
Well, I got my packet. And well. I can't wait till i get it framed. All I can say.
posted by Chuck Pierce 1:09 PM 1 comment

 
Ok well bad things to do. I was going nuts again so i chewed a piece of that gum... Didnt help.....

So Finally broke down and had a few puff off a cig. Now my heart is going 9 million beat s a sec and I tingle all over..Not good huh.
But it proves a point it wasnt hte drug I needed it was the act of getting it,, Bad huh,. ok Im gonna go pass out now. But thats ok.. No really I am fine I think.
posted by Chuck Pierce 10:43 AM 0 comments

 
Thge other time i have a real hard time not smokeing is after food. And I know it is all in my head. But damn it is hard...
posted by Chuck Pierce 10:13 AM 0 comments

 
You know, getting digital cable was worth anyprice, if for nothing else, and really not much else, but for Connections.
I love Burke. he amuses the hell out of me.

posted by Chuck Pierce 10:12 AM 0 comments

 
"Weak people suck"

Well I am doing better today. I think it is just late at night that I get jones out of control. So i have to goto work at 12. Unreal. You know how long it has been since I could sleep in till 8? yea ok not like I work real hard anyways. Well I will be gone for the next 24 hrs or so.. I should prob pack Guido up and head up n. Yes of course I am bringing Guido with me. I spent a lot of cash on this playtoy, and I WILL play when ever I can.
posted by Chuck Pierce 10:08 AM 0 comments

Thursday, March 21, 2002

 
I am a weak weak man. i broke down and bought pack and had 1.. i was jonesing so bad ... But i am gonna log every time i break down so deal withit
posted by Chuck Pierce 9:44 PM 0 comments

 
Doom and Gloom. It can't be that bad can it? is the court and human services that bias towards guys? All I hear are nightmares. One after the other. If the system is so unjust then it is time for someone to fight it. And i am good at tilting at windmills. I have done nothing wrong. i have tried over and over to support and be there and she has basically told me to screw off. If I do not get at least 50% of the care then I will gladly head for the high courts. It is not like she is not insane people. lets be serious...
posted by Chuck Pierce 8:04 PM 0 comments

 
Well spent the evening claning a bit and then muded some of the drywall in the hall. Going pretty slow on it, but thats cause i really dont care. I am still low and down about this D crap. but I am adjusting to it I think.
I am gonna write up a very short but sweet letter and mail it to her parents. basically saying I care for them and I am sorry for all the bad stuff about to happen. And to tell them they can allways call me and i will talk to them.
Wont help but I will feel better I think.
posted by Chuck Pierce 7:41 PM 0 comments

 
Ok well the abisall deep of depresions here. But thats ok. I am getting my ducks back in a row now. Got a few things to do. Got to talk withthe department of human services. I need to get a lawyer. And I need to send a card to her folks telling them I love em and I am sorry for all the shit that is about to happen. Then I start figureing out what can be attacked about me and getting it changed. Some things are easy, some hard. Already not smokeing so thats one good one. Need to ditch some guns and reorganise parts of my life. Oh and I need to get REALLY fucking drunk and get it over with. I have failed. Logic and careing can not effect histeria and insanity. Sigh.
posted by Chuck Pierce 3:17 PM 1 comment

 
So, well I got out of work early today, bit of a bummer. It takes like an hour to drive there so it sucks to only work for a few hours and come home. Sorta not worth the time. The pool is closed till Tomarrow morning so i can't go swim. Growl. I guess I should spend the afternoon searching or looking at lawyers. Sigh. Very little I would rather do less in the world. I think I am going to call her and thank her. Just thank her for takeing a minute out of her busy life to put my fears that she was blowing me off at ease. Oh wait what am I saying you didnt did you. yea I think i might....

Well that was usefull. Ok well what a suprise. i need to get a lawyer.
posted by Chuck Pierce 2:29 PM 0 comments

 
Well lost a post this mornign about how beutifull it was outside today. But fuck it I didnt care much anyways. Up at work sucking on cough drops and I an trying to rationalise a way that i can have a cig. Damn it, failing miserably but I am trying. The good news I guess is, I dont dwell on the fact D is ignoreing me when I am so busyly going insane. Sigh. But now I did think of it I might call her today and say thanks for the gumball. Dont ask, bad old comercial. Unreal. Not a single word from her. What a bitch. It would have hurt her so much to just say she was thinking about things or something. Ahh well screw her. She has made it very clear how little she cares about me.
posted by Chuck Pierce 10:02 AM 1 comment

 
"Try not to break down and have a piece of the Niccorette gum untill you have hit the point wehre you have loaded the guns and are beging to look for targets."

Long night and not alot of sleep... Damn not smokeing sucks. I figure at least 2 more days of this...Arrrg.
Good news though....
3,050 blocks were completed yesterday (0.00000444% of the keyspace)
at a sustained rate of 9,476 KKeys/sec! Ranked 1,238 for the day.
Yesterday is this participant's best day ever!
That is from RC5 DES. I dont think I have the energy to explain, just let me add my computer is one of the fastest in the world baby. God I love that
posted by Chuck Pierce 6:16 AM 0 comments

Wednesday, March 20, 2002

 
Well, I am still allive thank you very much. I figure I have at least a 5 deg fever. I am sitting her ein my nice new underwear sweating. And uh usually I am cowering under the covers. So this basically sucks.
Out of desperation i am gonna have to try someof this gum stuff or I will just not sleep tonite. Oh and did I mention it is snowing? like 3-4 inches.. Wierd. ok so here we go. If it kills me send my love to Jesus
posted by Chuck Pierce 10:07 PM 0 comments

 
I am, as many people will gladly testify a very rational and logical person. Yet frankly I have to wonder what type of MORON you have to be to be a television executive. Once again it is what I often refer to as good TV night, and guess what. TV SUCKS. Yes out of the 3 shows I like to watch. One after the other and all on the same channel. Number one, Ed, was replaced by dateline. Hey if anyone frigging watched dateline then it would have a timeslot. So get it the fuck out of my good TV night. Then of course we have the crowning jewel of the good TV night. West Wing of course. And this is a great program. But out of 52 weeks out of a year they ONLY do new episodes around sweeps. So, FINE. You SUCK. If you can figure out a way to make people look forward to a night on TV for the first time in 20 years, then why the hell canâ??t you just learn and keep it going. Sigh. So after west wing we then have law and Order. And old and steady solid show. Better be a new one tonight or people are going to start suffering. And when I say suffering I mean SUFFERING. Sigh. Ok TV sucks, I want a cig and the whole world is a pain in my ass.
posted by Chuck Pierce 9:12 PM 1 comment

 
Man I am begining to bounce off walls. arrrrg. Took a literally 20 min nap and now I am just bouncing in all directions. I am avoiding suger like a crack whore avoides the downtown. Add suger to this mix and things will get wierd quick. I put a 7 mg patch on yesterday at about this time and I am about to take it off. The goal is to not put one back on again. I am just not good at this. The basic problem is I like to smoke. Sigh. Ok well this is not going to get easyer. Oh and have I mentioned it is all your fault? You the sniveling public that allows a few treehuggers to restrict my ability to smoke. Like it would be THAT hard to make a smokeing room in damn near any situation. A plain steel walled, plain steel bench, no paint or frills would make me very happy. Anyways, for now it is me and my harmless though destructiuve habit. Next if might be one of your habbits. And you didnt stand up for me, so don't think I am gonna help you.
posted by Chuck Pierce 5:54 PM 0 comments

 
Well got my room cleaned up a bit and got the new remote set up. Works pretty good. So now I am going to slug out for a bit. Poof
posted by Chuck Pierce 3:49 PM 0 comments

 
Well i sure no how to live.. i did some shopping today/ WOOHOO . Got new underwear, important since it has been a year since I bought any. And I boght a new desk lamp.. and i REALLY needed that. Oh whatelse, some small crap and a new remote for the tv. My learning one is kaput. This one I might add is cool as hell. Ill try and find a pic, but trust me it is like the Concord of remote controls. What else, hmm not much, small but great stuff. So now I am sitting here still not smokeing, Did I mention I stoped smokeing.. And guietly going insane
So um, start building the bomb shelter.
posted by Chuck Pierce 12:47 PM 2 comments

 
"Soon the sun will turn into a red Giant"

A great astronomy show I watched in the middle of the night. The amuseing part was not once did thry add a timetable. I was waiting for it cause everyones is wildly different. But they neglected to even once. Twas amuseing.

Coughed alot last night, my cold has made it saflty into my lungs. not to happy about it in fact.
posted by Chuck Pierce 6:58 AM 4 comments

Tuesday, March 19, 2002

 
11Yea we use 11 remotes in this house. 3 now in the bedroom. and that is just wrong. I just want to turn the damn thing on.,. GROWl. ok back to my selfcentered world.. i am paceing the house yelling I want a cigerrette. In my underwear no less. Getting quite a crowd of watchers too....
posted by Chuck Pierce 7:43 PM 1 comment

 
For those of you who care. I am currently going to go and count the remotes we have and use in this house.....
posted by Chuck Pierce 7:39 PM 0 comments

 
Ok in many many wasy I am way to normal. No really. I am. But a year ago allmost i got a set of Berks. Me and Mom bought matching pairs and well i think i have worn mine allmost everyday since. And let me tell ya, this is Maine. berks in snow suck. But my feet LOVE em. So I bought an other pair. now I have dress berks too. I allmost bought a pair of the boots, but no one caries em in stock and 2504 sight unseen is to steep for me except in my most spendthrift moods. Anyways Point in fact being i love my berks.

Oh and on a side issue, I do not have a clue where the phone number for my brother Glen is, but if you call me and arn't an ass I am going to give you a 12 guage. I am gonna sell off most of my guns I have decided. I don't hunt anymore, I dont target shoot. So why the hell do I need like 20 guns? This one is a special gun that Dad bought me when I was 16. And that I gifted back to him when he had a hard time seeing well and I realised just how unsafe his old 12 guage was. So, I will never sell it and I really don't need it. But I figured the kid might like it. See if he bothers to make the effort to call me. Lord knows he checks here 2 times a day usually.
posted by Chuck Pierce 4:11 PM 5 comments

 
I am mindlessly bored. I am trying not to smoke. Doing a wonderfull job of trying, Still smokeing mind you but doing a great job of trying. I am in fact so bored I think i might just mud some drywall in the hallway. And thats real far down the bored scale. Sigh ok fine, least it will occupy me.
posted by Chuck Pierce 2:30 PM 2 comments

 
Well it came to me in a flash of brilliance today. This is all a head game. D knows I go nuts when she does nothing, so she is goading me on to see what I will do or say that she can use against me later. So, ok fine. I wont. If I get no responce today, and I wont, then tomarrow I will as allways be very nice and tell her in an emails that ok fine I wont contact her anymore and then I will allow the "other" folks to do it after that. I got to stop it from driveing me nuts.
posted by Chuck Pierce 11:01 AM 0 comments

 
"I don't care if it rains or freezes, Long as I have my plastic Jesus"

I am still stuffed up and coughing, but was suprised to see we got 2 inches of snow. I did get a bit of sleep but still exausted. Off and running on yet an other day.
posted by Chuck Pierce 6:37 AM 0 comments

Monday, March 18, 2002

 
Well i forwarded all the emails to her home address. And added some onto the bottom. She got them, cause I checked and they are off the server. And she deleted them so I know they were recieved. No responce. Ill give it a day before i allow myself to realise she is not going to do anythign about em.
posted by Chuck Pierce 9:09 PM 0 comments

 
Ok since a few people are panicing I will put the facts on the table. yes Ii actually was ordained. If you want more info I recomend you go here..link. This is a legal church in every way but do not fear. I very much doubt that it will ever be anything more than a wall hanger for my wall. Doc was ordained there in the 70's when he read about it in Rolling Stone. He has actually performed Weddings too and that just amuses the hell out of me. So anyways go and look and take it with a grain of salt.
posted by Chuck Pierce 4:27 PM 2 comments

 
Well Now.
I called, she was very pleasent, said she did not think the email was working correctly at work and agreed to read one if I sent it to her home address. So i will do that and we shall see what happens. 25 sec conversation but not nearly as bad as I thought it could be.
posted by Chuck Pierce 3:25 PM 1 comment

 
Well I have to admit the idea of me being a minister is a little hard to handle, but well. Deal with it. Think how good it will look on an arrest record. heheh ok well i have so far failed to be arrested but now if I do It will look good. On other fronts, Sent off a new email, no answer so screw it I am gonna call her at work and solve this damn issue. I just can not in good concience take this to the next level with out at least haveing her say she is ignoreing me on purpose. Her email could be down or something, so I guess I will call her at work. Since she is the receptionist I would hope I could get through. More to follow....
posted by Chuck Pierce 2:59 PM 0 comments

 
As i type just before I head out the door I am burnign my first DVD. VEry cool 4.4 gigs of data on one little disk. My whole computer life befoer november would have fit on 2 of them. Damn that is just so cool. 26 mins to burn. i used to be jazzed when we got a cd to burn that fast and that was .6 of a gig.. So cool. i love my Guido...
posted by Chuck Pierce 7:14 AM 0 comments

 
"Do I really want to become a member of any church that would have me as a minister?"

Anyone else as amused as I am about me becoming a minister? I figure the universe has stoped makeing snence so might as well roll with it. And yes i am serioous, like I can do weddings and all that stuff. Scary huh. Anyone need a Baptism???

On other note, still got a cold but I actually got a few hours sleep last ight. I guess I am just feeling secure with God or something. Oh and for all you majorly religious folks, No I am not totally serious about the I have found jesus crap, that is very tounge in cheek. But I am getting ordained, and that is just nuts. I have allways been a relaxed agnostic. But I must say, Me being ordained might well be proof, and also proof of a hell of a sence of humour. We shall see.
posted by Chuck Pierce 6:22 AM 14 comments

Sunday, March 17, 2002

 
Well. had a long afternoon. But to make my life better I have decided to become ordained. Think adding an Rev to my name will help any? We shall see if they accept me. I need to find jesus. of course the question that comes right to mind is who is the moron who lost him??? Do you think he is in the same place as all those Bic pens i have lost over the years?
posted by Chuck Pierce 8:01 PM 2 comments

 
Well I am home and severly depressed. Just had no energy for work. havnt sleept in a few nights now and I am just going insane over this crap. I tried to call her again at 11 am and got no answer. only let it ring 7 times cause I am terified she will claim i am harrasing her or something. Same reason i have not went over to her house. Hell she could be in the hospital or anything but I have a feeling this is me being ignored. So i guess I need to start to research lawyers DAMN IT. Only way she will respond though i have a feeling. really makes me want to spit i am so frustrated.
So ok, still got a cold so i figured I would take a nap or drink heavly or maybe both. Hmm can i do them both at same time????
posted by Chuck Pierce 2:03 PM 2 comments

 
Oh and Happoy St. Patricks day....
posted by Chuck Pierce 7:09 AM 2 comments

 
"Things do not allways look better during the light of day"

Didnt sleep. Had nightmares all night about D and her never letting me see the kid and blowing me off. So today i will try to call again. Even might try 2 times. Once in the middle of the day and once at 8 pm when I know she will be home. I do NOT want her to have cause to say i am harrasing her, but I really need to know if this is on purpose or if she is sick or what.
Sad, oh so sad.
posted by Chuck Pierce 6:46 AM 0 comments

Saturday, March 16, 2002

 
Long ass day. went over and helped on the house.. Did a bonfire.. was fun. but I am wiped so bed time for bonzo....
posted by Chuck Pierce 9:32 PM 0 comments

 
Ok. NOW I am depressed. Want to join me? Eyes
I look at pics of myself 2 years ago and I notice the changes. Damn but life can really wear ya down.
posted by Chuck Pierce 11:55 AM 4 comments

 
Well thats a no. 7 rings... no machine. Sigh. Ok benifit of the doubt she might not be home and might call me back later. 10 to 1 she doesnt.. Any takers? Sigh. I am trying so hard to be optamistic but this is not gonna happen.
posted by Chuck Pierce 11:05 AM 2 comments

 
Ok here we go. Time to call her and see if she answers. Place your last bets now ladies and gentlemen
posted by Chuck Pierce 11:02 AM 0 comments

 
"There is no time like the present"

Well the server crashed again.. growl.

Got bored this morning and was looking at the archives.. Christ how this place has changed. I know have to edit my thoughts which was kinda the whole point of not doing. Alex was right in his qoute "It's not every day you get to read a blog that will no doubt be subpoenaed for part of a criminal trial at some point in the future."
I know that if i say anything on here that D does not like it will end up used against me. God damn I hate the idea of haveing to deal with lawyers and the court over our child, but what can I do. She is shuting me out after promising me so many times it would never happen. It makes me very very sad. I think i am going to wait untill after my trip with mom to buy a dog. And I might not get a puppy but I prob will. I need something to hold at 2 am when I am all alone in the world. I also need something who will assume that when I say something it is not an attack or whatever the hell D thinks everything I say is. ok well. i have made a decion at least. I am going to call her round 11 ish. She prob wont answer the phone but I will try. I really need to know if she is getting the emails that I am sending and ignoreing me, or is just not getting them. I HATE to talk to her on the phone though, cause everything she says is fluid. It changes 10 mins later. Call me crazy but if it isnt writting down it is subject to misinterpretation. Course she gets what i write down wrong too but usually thats cause she doenst read it. Christ, I got to stop dwellig on her. It is OVER. Sigh ...
posted by Chuck Pierce 9:46 AM 3 comments

Friday, March 15, 2002

 
For those of you who do not know jacko, well this is not from jacko, but fits him to a T....

"Road Kill

I once ran over a bird with my car. I guess I should actually say I once killed a bird with my car because I didn't just run over it. I also killed it. And if I didn't say that I killed it I would be lying.

There were actually two birds, but I only hit and killed one of them. If I had killed both of them I would have already admitted it, obviously. But I didn't kill both of them. I just killed one of them.

I'm pretty sure that the bird I killed was in love with the bird I did not kill. I know this because after I ran over and killed the one bird, the other living bird landed close to the dead bird's body and started crying.

I know that the living bird cried because I saw the whole thing in my rear view mirror as I sped away. Even though I was driving faster than normal, faster than I should have been driving, too fast to have seen the two birds in time to stop, I could see everything in my rear view mirror.

I suppose the birds could have been siblings, or a mother and child, or maybe even first cousins, because you never know with birds. But from what I saw in my rear view mirror as I sped away, I'd testify that the bird I ran over and killed with my car was in love with the living bird then crying at its side.

If the birds really were related, if they really were siblings or a mother and child combo, then I would have turned my car around, sped back to the scene and killed the other bird. The world just doesn't need incestuous birds. "

So jackoish.....
posted by Chuck Pierce 7:49 PM 1 comment

 
Well I got the ever liveing crap scared out of me this morning. Talking to a friend about how my life is going and he started telling me about how the State of Maine is bias towarsd women. Great. And he had a really good point. I am a logical beast. My logic sucks sometimes, but I am logical. Yet logic is going to have nothing to do with any of the Child stuff. I have resent ther same email to D for 3 days in a row now. No answer. Now, I have been or am trying to give her the benifit of the doubt that their email is down or something. But we all know it isnt. So is it fair for me just to toss my hands up and start lawyer shopping with out even calling her on the phone? Ok so fair has little to do with it latly, is it wise and prudent. It is stupid to give her a heads up if she is ignoreing me to get her own stuff going against me. Yet if I am jumping the gun I might regret it, if she is not trying to screw me. ok so lets attack it from an other direction, how can I get in contact with her in a way that can not be construed as harrasment or give her if not cause even the potential to say I am being wierd and harrasing her or some such crap. So far sending the emial once a day is pretty easy to justifie since she has refused to answer me. So. I am really holding back on calling her Mom. we have allways got along great and I like her mom alot. But something she said in her last email was a major attack against me from her mothers direction and I have a feeling no good would come of it. Shame cause I really want them to know that I am not the cause of all this stuff. But hell I can't even convince myself most of the time how am I gonna convince her parents. So what do I do. I dont watch Soap Opreas, I live one....
posted by Chuck Pierce 2:21 PM 2 comments

 
Well at work for the next century, or so it seems. Playing Black and White.. Fun, fits me well.
Ok now it is either watch Buffy the vampire slayer or take a nap.. Wow what a choice. yea right....
posted by Chuck Pierce 12:00 PM 1 comment

 
"Cough cough No I am fine really Cough Cough I usually fail to breath Cough cough"

O I am awake and packing up for an nother adventure filled weekend up N. This time with DVD's. Cause yea, guido is comeing Like I would leave this puppy at home......
posted by Chuck Pierce 6:52 AM 0 comments

Thursday, March 14, 2002

 
BTW blogger was down all day.... Growl. But I lived through it. Sigh.....
posted by Chuck Pierce 8:31 PM 0 comments

 
Well did the morning stuff and I feel like crap still. Called Mom and welcomed her home. I guess Glen wants to come and see her in Bos, and thats cool. We arnt gonna be there long but thats fine. I was planning on takeing her to this great english restraunt and he is more than welcome to join. Not like I cant keep myself occupied in Boston for a few hours. So that is cool and hopefully he can refrain from being a prick and all will be well. Gonna be hard to get me upset as is, I am really looking forward to spending some quality time with Mom and we are gonna have FUN. It also will prob be the last time I have any spare cash for the next 18 years. Sigh. But thats cool, I really am excited about haveing a kid. Just wish the mother would become a human being again. I sent the exact same email as yesterday again today. To give her the benifit of the doubt their emai migh tbe down or she might be off a few days. So i am not panicing yet....yet....
posted by Chuck Pierce 8:30 PM 0 comments

 
"Pro Bono" A mythical creature that has never actually existed.

Well, i am grogy and soggy and stuffed up. But enough about my nose. Today is THURSDAy. christ I am loseing my mind this week, been off a day all week. Ok Early start got to stop and help a friend with his comp on the way to work....
posted by Chuck Pierce 6:03 AM 1 comment

Wednesday, March 13, 2002

 
Well, I am obsessing about this D crap. My mind boggles. Ok I really am good at dealing with people in many ways (Shush you) And the point is I can live with a hell of a lot if there is a reason. But this inabilty of us to make this work bugs the crap out of me. Hmm Ok so she is completly insane, I should be able to adjust to that. Frankly I think she is very close to the perfect mother for my child.. Err insanity issue aside.
Now don't get me wronge, the XGF was great in many ways, but I am a skinny little basterd. er was.... And I have allways said i would make sure I had a mother for my children who was not.. (XGF makes me look fat) And frankly D was my first love and I will allways love her, shame she is phsyco. Oh and also nothing against the XGF, but no WAY am i risking haveing child who is related to her daughter.. Who is a smart young ladie, just a complete bitch. Can you imagine my self centeredness combined with that, wholy crap. Anyways, had a glass of wine and 2 Cranburry muffins for dinner and now I am gonna try to go back to bed.

The really sad thing is i am reorganising my WHOLE llife in preperation for a court battle. And that is so sad. Gonna sell off most of my guns, cause well, it looks bad for me to own so many. Have held off getting a puppy, cause well, I am sure she can find an objection. Am working on a deal for a new apartment so I will have more than enough space, and well so forth. Damn it I do not want to have to figh over my own kid. I want to be able to talk intelgently and be listened too. i am not allways right but I am once in a while. Anyways, Depression is an ugly thing. But hell stick with what you are good at.
posted by Chuck Pierce 10:05 PM 0 comments

 
Well ok I am a moron. It is in fact WED NOW. I swear I am a day behind this week and it is pissing me off. And worse of all Good tv night sucks. GROWL. Got a great nap though and feel MUCH better but I am definatly sick.Whhat else, hmm. Nothing exciting I am afraid.
posted by Chuck Pierce 9:19 PM 0 comments

 
Well, it is 5:40 and no email, sigh what a suprise. I don't think i can stay awake anymore, i am just dieing here. Took an advil cold and sinus, and its kicking my ass. So I think i will set TEVO to record shit tonite and just CRASH, So don't frigging call me you loosers. hehhe. Oh damn gotto call Mom too I think she got home today.
posted by Chuck Pierce 5:40 PM 0 comments

 
Oh BTW in the continueing drama, No news from D. So this is todays email to her.

Dawn.
I am not going to go away. I really am not trying to pester or bother you, but these issues are not going to go away. It would be in my opinion both immature and foolish if I did not try to settle some of the at least simple issues with out having to involve others. If you are thinking about things or waiting till you see your counselor that is fine but could you please inform me? If I continue to get no response from you I will have no choice but to find a new form of communications, probably involving lawyers.

Chuck

I might as well just give up and call the lawyers in.. But damn it I AM TRYING. So lets see if I get any responce to this before I go for broke.
posted by Chuck Pierce 4:36 PM 5 comments

 
Well i have a cold. And it sucks. And it is all your fault.. (You know which You)
Spent the day helping some friends hook up their Imac wiht a scanner and new printer and all that. Was great fun I don't get out enough. That being said, screw this. i feel like crap and I think I am just gonna guetly croak for the rest of the day
posted by Chuck Pierce 4:02 PM 3 comments

 
"Want to get revenge ona country? best form of biolagical warfare... Drop babies on them"

I swear I held baby Nicole for less than 10 mins and she gave me a cold. Unreal. Oh and TODAY is wed. I was very dissapointed in the tv last night, till I realised it was TUESDAY. Moron.
Pile of little things to do today... And working up N again this weekend... So got to get that all organised for the morning. And I got up late.. GRUNT.
posted by Chuck Pierce 6:55 AM 0 comments

Tuesday, March 12, 2002

 
Ok defined as a bad idea... Do NOT have Meatloaf crooning as you clean up old files and open one labled Will, guess what it was, yerp, My will. Time to change that puppy right NOW. Hmm I thinki should move to a bit happier music before I do that. Oh good tv night.. POOOF
posted by Chuck Pierce 7:56 PM 10 comments

 
Well needless to say I heard nothing back from D today. There is a suprise. No way i am going to call her anymore. Everytime she denies the day after what she says so it is email only from now on.. oh wait, she is not responding. Well no Prob. lets try the lawyer route and see if that gets a responce. To be fair I will wait a few days though. There is no way she is going to deal with any of this stuff. But I am not going to allow her to drag it on till it is to late. It will get dealt with before hand either by us or by the lawyers. I really am a nice guy most of the time. But if you really try I will go into screw with me and you will suffer mode.

Pleasent stuff huh?
posted by Chuck Pierce 7:19 PM 3 comments

 
Oh and BTW I can not publish her answers. It is her right to be private. But here is my response to her email.

I am so sorry, I tried hard to not allow any ambiguity into my writing but on rereading that paragraph I realize that I did anyways. Let me restate the pertinent part...

I also understand you are not willing to make your emails public. I will try
very hard to respect that right. But since my emails are going to be made
public by you I reserve the right distribute them myself as I see fit. I
have made no secret that My support network and reality touchstone is a
large number of people most of whom I have never met.

By that my meaning was, "I reserve the right to distribute" MY "emails as I see fit." You have every right to ask that your emails be kept private and that was not what I was implying.

As for the care, I do not know what the reasons are for your mothers change of heart, but it is in many ways a moot point. The question I was trying to raise is since you stated you were unhappy with only being able to see the child for a few hours on weekdays and since I can and do work from home why do we not consider me having primary care? Then you would have the whole weekend uninterrupted. I would think that if you wanted to use your mother for childcare it should at the very least been brought to my attention if we are going to be co parents.

As for being over these subjects a million times, then I would think I should know the answers to them. Since I am asking you about them it is safe to assume I do not or am requesting clarification. I do not think my questions are very unreasonable for us to discus. Would it make it easier if I broke it down to single questions and emailed you one per day? My goal is not to annoy you here but to actually find out some answers to my questions.

So I am sorry if I am making you repeat your self but I do not have any answers from you in any emails on most of these questions. Can you please answer them or tell me an other way short of a legal meeting I can get some answers?
posted by Chuck Pierce 12:45 PM 0 comments

 
Subject: Retouching some issues
Mailed Monday March 11

Ok well. I guess you did finally make me realize this is a lost cause. Since
you say I tend to blame everything on you I am making an attempt to not do
so in this missive.

I do not feel that at this time you wish to have a relationship with me. If
this is a wrong assumption then a simple word can correct it. I am sure that
I could have handled a few things better but I do not know how. I am not
sure I am able to continue on the path we are taking. Hmm that is not worded
right, I am not sure I can continue on the path you wish us to take. I
understand completely how you feel that the best thing for you right now is
to be alone and work on "you I believe is how it was expressed, but I do not
think I am well suited for waiting in the sidelines. It is not that I am
saying good bye, just that my emotional reserves are unable to handle being
put on hold for extended amounts of time. So I am therefore realigning my
thinking slowly to not us as a couple but me as an individual.
Dawn, I might not have done everything right in this relationship, but I
tried. I was willing to do almost anything to try and be happy with you. I
do not react well to rejection at times and I am sorry if it was my issues
with this that cause the divergence in our commonly held wishes. I asked you
to Marry me because I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you. I broke
off the engagement when it became very apparent to me that you no longer
wished it. Even then for the sake of our child I am and was willing to to
the right thing no matter what the cost.

Ok to see if we are of a like mind I am going to retouch a few issues. If
you disagree with my conclusions then please let me know I might have
misunderstood your wishes.

The ring. The only way I will be getting it back is if I sue you for it.
Frankly since the one matter that made your feelings so apparent on us
getting married and caused me to break it off was your absolute refusal to
wear the ring this amazes me. And even though I would easily win a court
case over it I do not think at this time it is worth my energy.

The Imac. I bought it for the family. Even though there is not going to be a
family anymore, I feel no reason to go back on my word. So I will be getting
it to you at a time of your convenience. I still need to add Ram to it and
unfortunately my checks are delayed this month so cash is a little tight for
a few weeks. I will get it done and call you to ask how it is convenient to
deliver when I do get the ram installed. Would you like me to install the
rest of the applications? If so you will have to get them to me.

The Childs name. You seem to feel that we need to discuss this in some form
or manner. I stand by my belief that it was your idea to name the child
after my father, and that I was more than happy to let you choose the name
if it was female. I am saddened that you feel this should be a point of
contention between us. At this time I am not very open on this subject. I
feel we had a deal and you are trying to amend it after the fact. And in no
way implying this in a threatening matter but I am using this as a template
for all our further dealings. If you continue to fight this issue, as is
your right, I will from now on get any and all correspondences between us in
writing and anything important notarized, as is my right. I seem to be
developing an issue with our discussions changing after the we have them.

Custody. We on this issue have just started discussions and I am still open
to any suggestions. Since you were mentioning that you have no time with the
child on weeknights might I suggest that I might have primary care? I have
significantly more time during the day and also the flexibility of schedule
you do not. You mother stated many times to me she was not planning on
taking care of the child everyday. This would negate that issue almost
completely. I am very open to your input and welcome your ideas on this
subject. I do not want to act like there is a major rush on this issue since
there really is not yet. But if this is going to come down to a court battle
I would rather not wait till the last minute. Notice, I said IF, I currently
have no plans to make it one and we should be able to compromise and both be
content. But I see no benefit in pushing this issue aside to be rushed
later.

The day. I have said all along that I have very little wish to actually be
present in the delivery room. I was willing to make the adjustment for your
sake but you have since informed me that I am not required. I will leave
this up to your decision. If you would like me there if for no other reason
but to throw things at, I will comply. If you would rather I was not present
I will stay in the wings. I am not saying I have no feelings on this issue,
rather that in this case your feelings should be more important. Your health
at that point directly affects the delivery and whatever makes you more
comfortable I will try to do. On the same vein you have not mention Lammas
classes or anything on those lines for a long time. Please let me know if
you would like me to be a part of anything and the schedule for them.

Email privacy. I am not sure I am comfortable with you showing my private
emails to others. But if you think it will help then go ahead. I guess my
question is what will it help? The only thing it could help is in us
understanding each other better and being together again. Since I do not
believe that is an option you wish to take I am not sure I understand the
relevance my emails would have. But that being said, if it helps you fine. I
also understand you are not willing to make your emails public. I will try
very hard to respect that right. But since my emails are going to be made
public by you I reserve the right distribute them myself as I see fit. I
have made no secret that My support network and reality touchstone is a
large number of people most of whom I have never met.

The internet connection, I see no benefit in my continuing to pay for it. I
purchased it as part of your birthday present for 3 months. I at the time
did not anticipate where we would be at this point. If it would help you to
discuss and let us work on Child issues I will continue to pay for it. But
since I have not seen an email from you in many months from it currently I
see no point in my paying for it. If you would like me to for the reasons
stated or for other justifiable reasons please inform me. I will not cancel
it until you tell me it is all right. On that subject would you rather
receive emails from me at home rather than at the office?

The Audrey, I did purchase that for you as a present, I am in no way trying
to deprive you of it. But since you do not seem to be using it in the manner
I anticipated I will gladly re-gift you with something more to your
likening. Please furnish me with some ideas if this is agreeable to you.

That is all I can currently think of, if you have other subjects we need to
discuss right now please let me know.
posted by Chuck Pierce 12:43 PM 0 comments

 
Well I made an oppsy. I was hmmm out of line and tossed my slipper at jacko while he was brushing his teeth and blind sided him. He is righously pissed, my bad. I should have used something much softer and not actually hit him. Sorry jacko.. I did plan on missing him but he walked into it.. Sigh. And got a wonderfull non responce from D. Growl. Screw it. I will post my 1/2 of the emails when I get time to edit them or make sure they do not need editing. I do not want to make a grounds for her to get upset about her privacy.

Sorry jacko, My bad.
posted by Chuck Pierce 12:32 PM 0 comments

 
"After some serious consideration and consultation with people both liveing and dead, I have reached the conclusion that you are a fruitcake"

well I feel like crap. i am getting a cold... i think. My throat is killing me. Could have been the insulation last weekend, or a cold. Either way, it hurts... Sigh.
posted by Chuck Pierce 6:25 AM 2 comments

Monday, March 11, 2002

 
Well spent the afternoon/ evening sitting in front of Guido.. Fun to get to use him. Finnally copied all my files over, and played Black and White while it happend.. thanks OS X. Glad to have my MP3's back. i missed some and felt a need to listen to meat Loaf.
So now can put the server back up and wont have to grab all the stuff I was trying to dl slowly from it.. Woohoo.
Ok well gonna go work at the new house tomarrow after all.. some small ends to finish up.
posted by Chuck Pierce 9:31 PM 2 comments

 
Sometime i really do amuse myself huh???
posted by Chuck Pierce 7:11 PM 0 comments

 
Well I just wrote a big ass email to D. I think I am going to post it on here at some point. I figure I can post my emails and she has no say on it. It is hard to write an email that is not nasty and accusitive, but I think I accomplished my goal.

On that note, back to the GEICO issue. it is time... I am going to start working on my letter to them again any day now. I have a great new idea. So wrap your hearts around this one

The idiot who handled our claim wasted days of my time. Not to mention hours on hours of calls i had to pay for. So here is my plan. Rather than just get her fired I am going to offer her an out. I am going to write up a nice and fairly accurate bill for my time and expenses and agrivation and then submit it to her. If she pays it then I will not send my letter to her Boss's.

Now you ar thinking, Ohhh someone is going to jail for extorion. Ok fine, but here is the kicker. i am going to make her pay me, if she uses that option by donateing it to a charatiy of her choice in my name. I LIKE it. This will get the point accross and I really do not need to try and get any $ out of them, but this will get the point accross well.
Any ideas????
posted by Chuck Pierce 7:10 PM 4 comments

 
OK well now. Since so many of you have asked, here is our rough plans for the trip me and Mom are going on.

April 18 Boston, for the afternoon at least.
April 19 Fly to Vancouver
April 20 Vancouver
April 21Start on the Rocky Mountaineer train
April 22 To Banff
April 23 Banff
April 24 To Lake Louise
April 25 Lake Louise
April 26 To Jasper (sno coach for some of it)
April 27 get on BIG train to Toronto
April 28 onboard train
April 29 Toronto
April 30 Niagra Falls
May 2nd To Boston and then home.

Should be a BLAST. Rather than see 20 towns for 10 mins we are going places and then getting time to enjoy them. The trip was not exactly cheep but it is well worth it not only cause Mom is such a great traveling companion, but cause neither of us have seen alot of the places except in passing. I have a feeling I will be pretty much pennyless by the time we get back so don't plan on alot of presents. Still trying to figure out pictured. i do not think I am going to take my Apple Quick Take, cause well it is such a pain to have to bring a laptop too. So I might have to buy a new Digital Camera too, but that might push the finances a tad to harshly. But anyways, should be a great time and assumeing the train fails to kill anyone this time we should not be to delayed. So be warned, we are gonna be on a train, and well, Everytime I go on a long train ride someone dies. So no trying to beat the train at junctions...
posted by Chuck Pierce 5:43 PM 1 comment

 
Well today is becoming amuseing.
Last night the XGf and I saw a movie together. We both had crap we were tweeking over and it was NICE to spend some time and talk.
Well today her useless daughter is freeked out. Mostly because she saw me or left her Dad home alone or something. It is a riot though. And she did not I am afraid get alot of sympathy from me. I mean her daughter is a CFM. She cares for NOONE but herself. If she did she would not have made the XGf get rid of me in the first place. She told her to choose and the XGF choose her family. ok that reasonable, but it means that she is now in my opionion a slave to helping her father. Since he basically can't see anymore he needs help round the clock. The bitch is i am sure not helping worth a crap. And since I am out of the picture at her request if the XGF leaves to do anything he is alone. it would have been alot for 2 people to allways have someone there, impossable with 1. So anyways, I guess the Bitch is telling her to choose me or her family again. And that is sad but funny. We saw a movie, its not like we eloped or something. I have made no secret with the XGF that i am NOT ever going to consider getting back together with her while her daughter rules her life. No way am I ever going to let that selfish Bitch screw up my life again. The really sad thing, and I mean sad. Is that she would be so much better off telling the bitch to go rot even if I am not in the picture. The silly twat is going to do this over anyone the XGF find that makes her happy. Now since my default state is grumpy, i can understand somewhat, But I went out of my way to be nice to this silly twat over the years. i did everything I could to help her all the way. I am sure i pissed her off a few times but It was never on purpose. Anyways, point is, hehe, She is like 30, single, and an idiot. She might have a great job, but she has the brains of a muskratt. Wow nice rant, but it felt good. I still strongly resent the way she treated me and how she screwed the XGF and her grandfather at the same time. Don't get me wrong, the XGF's father is as much to blame, he also caves into her every whim. But she was the force that cause all the pain and suffering. hehehe what an idiot.,
posted by Chuck Pierce 1:41 PM 0 comments

 
"People who do not learn from history are doomed to to repeat it"

Very tired this morn. did to much this weekend. Grug.
posted by Chuck Pierce 6:53 AM 0 comments

Sunday, March 10, 2002

 
Long long long long day. i am covered in insulations and I itch from head to to.. Yuck. But we got most everything done. Drywalls start tomarrow so i am off the hook for a few weeks., In theaory at least. Now I am gonna eat and then watch a movie on the comp, cause I can and it is cool.
posted by Chuck Pierce 7:25 PM 0 comments

 
"Able to lead tall buildnings in a single bound, Its a star, its a plane, No it is Guido the Supercomputer.

Watched a few DVD's on Guido last night... Ok well I guess I should just say it. i was wrong.
I allways thought that people who watched DVD's on there computer were idiots. But the picture on the LCD was amaxing. Sound rules with the glow in the dark Harmon Kardons and well, it was just great. Apples app sucks a bit, did not really like the controls, but other than that, I would allmost prefer it over the tv.. And we have a nice tv and sound system.
So i was in fact wrong, playng DvD's on the comp can be very worth while...

Ok off to spend the day at the job site.. Tomarrow they start drywalling so lots of little stuff to do.
posted by Chuck Pierce 8:21 AM 1 comment

Saturday, March 09, 2002

 
Home, dead....
posted by Chuck Pierce 6:43 PM 0 comments

 
Well allmost time to get out of here. So I should probably clean up a bit. The servers been down and I guess Jacko forgot to put it back up.. So i guess I will have to head home early. Sigh. Ok well time to pack up Guidio...
posted by Chuck Pierce 10:43 AM 0 comments

 
To continue on that thought, I feel I have done the right thing, I would marry her tomorrow if she would let me if for no other reason the baby. I would then do all I could to make it happy. But she is calling the shots and there is no hope for us, or as I was told at least 30 times, counseling, until she figures out herself. Ok well I know I am more than welcome to wait like a puppy dog for a few months to see if she becomes a human being again, but I do not think it is likely. I just got to come to grips with the fact it is never going to happen. And I think the best way to do that is get a new dog. Sounds like a plan donâ??t it? Ok Ok Ok I will think on it for a bit first. Hey it worked for Doc, he had female troubles, got a new dog, she came back and stole the dog. Sounds like a hell of a plan.
Ok Its CRAP after midnight, time for a quote.. errâ?¦

â??Oh lord its hard to be humble, when your perfect in every way.â?�

Ok well I do amuse myself at least.

posted by Chuck Pierce 12:14 AM 4 comments

 
Ok well long call with D. And yes I called her. I guess it is a control issue she says. Funny I think it is because I do not want to wake her up, but I am as always wrong. So conclusions, this is never going to happen. It is time I just realized it and moved on with my life. A couple amusing things though, first one is the ring. I want it back. Why you ask, well cause I gave it to her as a promise to marry her. Yes I did call it off, but I called it off because she refused to wear the ring. So why the hell should she keep it. She says if I call it off she gets to keep it. I think if we do not get married it should be returned.. ideas?? am I off base on this one. And some of you lurkers go ahead and comment, I promise I will not eat you. Ok other things, name she is still tweeking over, wants to discuss it and has magically forgotten all of our agreements. Ok she might not remember then, I will give her the benefit of the doubt. But I am using it as a sounding board, she backs down on this and everything we do from here on will be in writing and notarized. And I mean everything. Might be off base on this one too but I do not think so. I do know if it was a girl I would not be fighting her choice. But this is a loosing battle. She wants to show her therapist the emails I have sent her. But has forbidden me to show hers. Um ok. She says that since I do not pay one person that this is different. She has a valid point in a way but moot since her emails suck anyways. Not like she says anything real in them or worth repeating. Wow this program is going to piss me off, it seems to have an issue with my sentence structure. Yea well ok I am sure it is for the better. So back to D. She has an I am not making this up and anonymous source who works with the XGF and she can not remember the name of, and who wants to stay anonymous, that says I am sleeping with the XGF. Um ok Cool, damn I need some of these sources. So, of course my question is why does she care? Her response was that it would be weird if I was telling her I wanted to be with her and was seeing the XGF behind her back. Now I donâ??t have a problem with that concept, but actually I do not feel they are mutually exclusive. I miss the XGF, a lot at times. I wish her situation had changed so we had a chance of being together and happy again. But till it does I am not going to subject myself to her controlling family. So where do I go from here. NFC. But I think I might go catch a movie with the XGF and talk for a bit. Hell I am already in trouble for sleeping with her, a movie canâ??t hurt. If nothing else it might be nice to spend some time in the company of someone who really cares for me. At least the XGF figured out getting rid of me was not the smartest thing she ever did. Damn it is lucky I am so perfect huh?
posted by Chuck Pierce 12:06 AM 14 comments

Friday, March 08, 2002

 
ok try this one. Am I being destructive with D so I can get a new puppy????
posted by Chuck Pierce 9:05 PM 2 comments

 
I should really know better than to take tests from insidehermind.com But I have to admit it is amuseing. I am a Terrorist Leader.. heheh well that is fitting, cept other people called em boy scouts.. hehe
Congratulations, you great big bully you! Sure, others may gain fame and fortune conducting nice civilized wars, or speading contagion across the globe, but you prefer the safety of a nice, dry, cave and a legion of loyal, but stupid minions to do your bidding. Your goals are lofty and your convictions strong, and we applaud your dedication. Innocent souls perish because you are envious of our wealth. Your greed is only thinly disguised by religious indignation and cries of american immorality. You certainly talk a good game, maybe you can finally play with the big boys when you learn to crawl out of your hole in the mountain.

Well it was amuseing.
posted by Chuck Pierce 8:50 PM 1 comment

 
Wow, D is truly nuts, have I mentioned that?
Ok well anyways, spent a hunk of the time playing Black and White.. Fun game very amuseing. I can't BELIEVE I forgot to bring and DVD's with me.. so watching Indiana Jones cause I am bored. The server crashed, grrrr. And jacko is misisng in action. I need my other X10 controler, or move the one I have off the server so I can reset it.. growl
posted by Chuck Pierce 8:29 PM 0 comments

 
And the yoyo ride starts once again, got an answe form D, thinking things were going well with us. Um ok, guess I missed that one completly. Wish I had know wouldnt have assumed her not talking to me for a week+ a bad thing. ok fine. So lets see if she has anything inteligent to say.
The one thing I LOVe about email rather than phone is you have a record. I can go back and read exactly what was said and when she does a 180 catch her on it. Course same with me, but I am pretty consistant mostly
posted by Chuck Pierce 2:29 PM 0 comments

 
Well, I finnaly got the internet wired up here. Jod had put router and modem in the basement.. Bit of a pain since the computers and Me are in the upstairs. But I got it wired finnally. Only took me 3 tries to get a good ehternet connector on. Sigh. Sent off a factual email to D. Doubt it will do any good but she does deserve to know how I am feeling. I am quickly looseing patience with this prolonged non courtship. So anyways, i am back on the net up here. .WOOHOO.
posted by Chuck Pierce 12:45 PM 0 comments

 
"I am consumed by the chill of solitary "

Ok getting ready to pack up Guido and take it N with me for the weekend. Only gonna take the 17 LCD though. No need for anything else. Got to talk with Gren this morn for the first time in what seems like ages. Of course blogger is down right now, but it will come back up eventually I am sure. Think I got the bed sussed out, allmost sleept well alst night.

Be forewarned I might do some serious Blogging about my life today, so run and hide while you can.
posted by Chuck Pierce 12:38 PM 1 comment

Thursday, March 07, 2002

 
Well had a nice dinner at Boydo's and helped him with a small project. Now i am back home geeking for 20 mins and then bed. Yet a nother days usless energy spent.. And tomarrow I am going to go N and work.. but never fear, I am gonna take the new playtoy with me
posted by Chuck Pierce 9:43 PM 0 comments

 
Ok well out for the night, Going over to Boydos for dinner. Then tomarrow I head up N to work for the weekend. Gonna be a busy one, but I am gonna bring my new playtoy.
posted by Chuck Pierce 5:25 PM 0 comments

 
Well in the spirt of makeing things better, (yea right) I just qouted most of "All I really want", the great Alanis song to D in an email.. $5 says it does no good. But I keep trying. She went whacko with a flip of a switch, I keep hopeing it is gonna switch back. Oh and that congress will get on a budget. Dreamer arn't I?
posted by Chuck Pierce 3:54 PM 2 comments

 
I need to make a line and hold to it. I am still playing CL but not as much since i started working to hard. I am back into running a HL server. I need to figure out what part if any of my life I keep private. Not that i really give a rats ass mind you, its just i do not want to have to deal with a bunch of spam and crap from morons. I need to make a rule and then stick by it. I allready mentioned the website to a person from HL Jenga, her name was cute and I was bored. And no I have not been hitting on her, er, least not to overtly. I really got to figure out where this crap with D is going before I start picking up new fems. Sigh. Ok off to do something else.
posted by Chuck Pierce 3:24 PM 0 comments

 
Well i am being a good little weenie. I am pretending i do not despise microsoft and giveing all their applications a try. Includeing word and Entorage the new email client.. Hmm only Microsoft would use a name with rage built in.. Anyways, so we shall try em for a day or so and see if I hate em or not...
posted by Chuck Pierce 3:06 PM 0 comments

 
Well haveing a nice relaxing day. Quietly playing on the new beast. I really have to set up email on it, but I can not decide what app to use... A bit of a problem. Claris Emailer I am afraid is going to have to be replaced. Sigh.
posted by Chuck Pierce 1:15 PM 2 comments

 
"If the kid is late I guess you will allways be fighting with him cause I know how you feel about people being late."

That one amused me.. hhehe. Well still working on the electric blanket learning curve. Started at # 26 and now am at 3, so we are getting there I think. But I still slept like crap. I should have just bought a dog and it would have been easyer. Not alot on the plan for today, more of the same from yesterday i think. Cleaned and reorganised alot yesterday and this place is starting to make sence. I have the weekend duta so I will be gone for alot this weekend, But I think i am going to carefully and lovingly bring the beast with me.. i need a name for my new beast. Laptop is Glinda, after the witch of course. My original 630 was Mortis, and the 9500 was Biff. i am thinking Guido for this one cause it so damn rugged. But I do have to learn to find the shift key don't I. ok well time to wake up and hit the day like a mack truck hitting a rabbit.
posted by Chuck Pierce 6:19 AM 0 comments

Wednesday, March 06, 2002

 
Oh and for those who do not know.. hl means Hotline. A way to chat and transfer files.
posted by Chuck Pierce 10:05 PM 1 comment

 
OK Dad story.

I was in the post orafce the other day, like um everyday. As usual 10 mins before it opens. And there was a nurse waiting also. I mean i KNEW she was a nurse. the shoes, the look and all that. And i was chatting a I allways do when I am bored. Well anyways, long story short I was talking hospitals and mentioned my Dad retired form Me med. She immidiatly ask who and well i said, well Dad. She lit right up like a christmass tree and Siad she knew him well and was so sorry to hear he had died. It is just amaxing (just for you jacko) that he was known by so many. I can only hope that 1/5 will remember me as kindly. hmm guess i should not be such a gruMp huh? Damn this Keyboard, i am still not used to it at all damn it. It keeps missing caps.. or er i miss the shift. Ok well nighto....
posted by Chuck Pierce 10:02 PM 0 comments

 
I really like good tv night., Really like it. I don't really get alot of relaxation time. So this is important to me. And i can't get the damn learning remote to frigging learn damn it. Sigh.
But at least the trip is all set. Should be a blast Mom deserves to get away once in a while. oh wait she is never home, hmm i do then. Yea thats the ticket. And hell it is only $ right? It comes and it goes, no worries mate.

So here is the rought itinerary. Bos, to vancouver. spend a week on a train going town to town in the rockyies. Then take a train over to Toronto for a few days. ok well back to good Tv Night.
posted by Chuck Pierce 9:17 PM 3 comments

 
Well ok solved the remote problem. Found the old POS one and since my remote is an X-10 8 in one learning remote I will just teach it the buttons I want. very cool. I guess the batts musta got low, but thats ok i can fix it.

Got the server almost stable.. its called SoSueME.X so go take a look if your a hl person.
posted by Chuck Pierce 7:33 PM 2 comments

 
Well this is disapointing. First off I have discovered a flaw in my wonderfull new computer. used to be I would tell it to goto sleep or shutdown and walk the 2 steps and get into bed before it had. Now it is like .5 sec so i make it like 1 step.. Very irritating and a definite flaw. Also and this IS annoying me... More so if you know how anal i am about my remote.. Arrg my wonderfull remote has lost the spare buttons I had tought it so it could do the sleep timer and contrast and that stuff... Growl, this is a major pain in the ass. And must be rectified. If I have to take the .45 to the tv to solve it it must be done... Grrrr.
posted by Chuck Pierce 4:27 PM 4 comments

 
Well things are going better after all. The trip is set. And we ended up getting the trip we originally wanted and thats cool. So it is all set. Can't reach Mom she must be out but I will tell her tonite if she calls. So tweeking the server a bit then gonna hopefully take a nap. i am just so tired. I really need a good nights sleep. So a good nap will help.
posted by Chuck Pierce 12:31 PM 0 comments

 
"My electric blanket has a pretty serious learning curve"
Well I did not freeze, but didnt sleep much either. To many knobs anbd stuff and I ended up slowly bakeing most of the night. Did not sleep well. Well we got XFR a pretty nice car. it is actually a little bit older and more milage than the one I crashed, but same type. He also banked a crapload so he made out ok.
Got an email from D last night, first one in well a long long time. Havnt responded yet cause I am trying not to be nasty. I am feeling very very blown off by her latly.
Today i should get the vaction with mom all set though, and that is good.
ok well off to work for a few hours...
posted by Chuck Pierce 6:43 AM 1 comment

Tuesday, March 05, 2002

 
Well lots of things I was going to do tonite, but I find I just can not stay awake. So i am just going to goto bed. All this driveing playing and car shoping has wiped me out I guess.
posted by Chuck Pierce 8:59 PM 0 comments

 
Spent the day car shoping and got Steveo a new car.. Woohoo, Now were gonna go get dinner. Later on...
posted by Chuck Pierce 6:13 PM 0 comments

 
Spent the day car shoping and got Steveo a new car.. Woohoo, Now were gonna go get dinner. Later on...
posted by Chuck Pierce 6:12 PM 0 comments

 
"When you are sad and lonely spending money is not allways the best way to deal with it. But it sure does help"

Up and playing... Still not playing really, but setting things up
posted by Chuck Pierce 7:12 AM 0 comments

Monday, March 04, 2002

 
Well this display really is wonderfull. The KB is gonna take some getting used to so expect lots of typos for a bit. But I am in heaven. 80 gigs, holy crap. I only had 8 gigs 4 months ago.. wow. it is just unreal. Ok well back to configureing, and of course transfering a crap load of stuff....
posted by Chuck Pierce 9:22 PM 0 comments

 
Wow, this is really cool. The 17 inch LCD is GREAT. Ok I am off playing
posted by Chuck Pierce 7:11 PM 2 comments

 
Ok well that was a pain in the ass. The Apple folks were SO COOL. But it comes to find out my debit card has a $500 limit. I had ennough cash but it would not work.. So after an hour we talked the bank into opening my limit for 5 mins and then running it through. It worked, I am home, and it is beutifull. This should be the last post fom the 9500... Good bye old girl, you have served me very very well.
Take down and replace time. Pooof Weeellllaaa.
posted by Chuck Pierce 6:19 PM 0 comments

 
ARRRg card probs. Att apple now.. Work damn it....
posted by Chuck Pierce 3:45 PM 0 comments

 
Ok screw you guys, I am gonna play. yes I am leaveing now and driveing to Salem NH to make what is I think the largest single purchase I have ever made in my life. And I am wicked excited... So clear the roads here I go heading for the Apple store and my new G4 Duel 1Gig With a 17 inch LCD display.. Yea BABY.. I mean really what is 4k compared to my happyness???
posted by Chuck Pierce 1:21 PM 1 comment

 
"Shut up and let me sleep"

I hurt, I am angry, and I hate you all. Today I unload some of this crap I am carrying on my shoulders. Then I will prob unload it here.. As per usual.
posted by Chuck Pierce 6:27 AM 1 comment

Sunday, March 03, 2002

 
"Women come and go, mostly go, But your Dog will love you forever."

Was 11 years ago today I got Brandy, I miss my doggy. Worked my ass off all day yet again, but I am done for a few days I think. Just exasted, so no more to even write. Hopefully tomarrow we will get the trip all set and organsied, lots o variables still right now.
posted by Chuck Pierce 11:00 PM 1 comment

Saturday, March 02, 2002

 
Well worked hard today. But got alot done. And I am exausted I might add. Time to do some serious vegging out. Might go out to dinner and then quietly crash.
posted by Chuck Pierce 6:18 PM 0 comments

 
"Hungover? Yea well you deserve it"

In a actually smaller amount of pain today than last few days. And that is great. Did quite a bit yesterday but did not kill myself for once just puttered a bit more. Anyways, haveing a little bit of a hard time telling myself it is ok to spend 4k on a new comp. True I havnt ever gotten a top of the line one. And true I probably wont ever again.. But well, its alot of cash.
Our trip is a little bit screwed up. Had it all set and told the wonderfull travel agent to book it... And then found out one of the mail parts was unavailable.. Like the Tronto to Vancouver part.. Grrr. so doing a small rethink and replan and hopefully it should be all set today. Just a bit of a pain. Gave out a nice yell at work that it was all set, ring ring, Ok well its still all set we are just going to reverse it... Ring ring.. grr ok redo from start. +++Redofromstart+++ what a great kids name.....
Anyways. I am up and gonna drag butt into the shower and then go work on the, you guessesd it, house for the day.
posted by Chuck Pierce 6:56 AM 0 comments

Friday, March 01, 2002

 
Well knocked off early for work for once. We booked the trip but its all screwed up so we have to redo... Bit of a pain. Anyways sorry it has been so boreing, but working my ass off for a few more days.
posted by Chuck Pierce 9:38 PM 0 comments

 
"Sell it to me, Sell me a computer"

I am really really excited about buying a new computer. I do not buy big ticket items. And I NEVER buy em new. This will be my first new computer that is top of the line. And I really am overly excited about it.So here is the plan, either a duel 1 gig or a duel 800 if I can find one. A good hunk of ram and a 17inch LCD mon. I will plug the 20 incher into the 2nd port. Bought a griffen Powermate already and it came last night. I am going to enter the world of firewire and USB. My 9500 I bought used in 96 and got a great great deal on it but I am just absolutly jazzed about gettting a current top of the line computer. So much so that I woke up early and couldnt get back to sleep. Screw it. If I am going to be alone every night I might as well have a great computer.
posted by Chuck Pierce 6:13 AM 3 comments

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